I just finished a collection of Kahlil Gibran’s work. I started with the Prophet (Almustafa) which is my second go at this collection of poems. Each time I read the prophet; I was going through an emotional distress. The prophet was perhaps a mean to tame my runaway thoughts. I remember in 2018 when I pick up the Prophet, I was returning to the workforce after a hiatus that started in 2015. I read the prophet for the fun of it, but I realized I had to come back to it again. I picked up the prophet again in 2021 after a series of unfortunate events happened to me. I had decided to focused my mind away from a unhealthy habit. This time around, I was more in tune with Kahlil Gibran’s work. I am writing this post as a cathartic exercise.
My hobbies have allowed me to be very abstractive for many decades, but I am no Leonardo da Vinci or Michael Angelo. I currently identify with Kahlil Gibran, because I started my education in one language and then continued in another. Kahlil Gibran started his education in Arabic, and finished his education in English. I studied in French until the age of Fourteen, then after everything else was in the English language. It forced me to blend multiple style of writing, because I am picking what I like from many writers. This may not be point of this blog post however, I am doing at the moment a brain dump, and it could be exhausting to the readers. I wrote earlier about my mental health issues. I have dealt with depression and anxiety at one point or another. Anxiety and depression have been constant in my life since the age of eleven. They have been constant partners that rear their ugly heads at any point in my life. These two issues are the reason I have avoided many substances, because I fear they will come back with a vengeance; once the high has gone. I will deal with these issues for the rest of my life. I have to accept these facts, but I do not have to let them define me. I do not have to let my thoughts define me as well.
I got in mindfulness to rein my runaway mind. I had a bout of anxiety in January, and I had a death wish during this episode. This episode was quite scary, and I ended speaking to a licensed clinical social worker. The licensed clinical social worker suggested to try meditation and breathing exercise to calm my mind. These exercises have made these mental issues more bearable for me, but I do not know if they made these mental battles bearable for people around me.