October Difficulty

The Soul Cages – it is an music by English Singer Sting. I believe it is his third studio solo album, It spawned a few singles upon its release. My favourite single from this album is “Why Should I Cry for you”. This song took a new meaning for me on October 8, 2016. However I am digressing.

Since 2016, October has been the most painful month in my life. Prior to 2016, I usually expected a bout of seasonal depression while living in the western hemisphere. I was usually prepared for these bout of depression, because I have dealt with mental health issues since I was a teenager. I eventually stopped consuming alcohol because it affected my mental health in ways I did not like. I have not consumed any alcohol since my late thirties. I am not 420 friendly anyway so I live a drug free life for the most part. I am going to give accounts of why October has been a difficult month for me in the last few years.

On the morning of October 8, 2016 my mother lost her battle to Cancer. Her cancer was discovered in April, and by October she passed away. I was in shock on the date of her passing. I saw her passing coming, but it still hurt when it happened. People came to my parents’ house with their platitudes, thoughts and prayers, but the shock was still raw. I was basically on Auto-pilot for the month of October. I ended finding peace in this song by Sting from his album the soul cages. The title is “why should I cry for you” Here is the song below.

https://embed.music.apple.com/us/album/why-should-i-cry-for-you/1455399771?i=1455400279

Every october since then has been challenging when I come to think of it. In october of 2018, i started working for this company in Fort Mill, SC and three weeks later the company sacked me. I ended working for Goodwill for the next two years, but it was a rewarding experience to me. I then a beautiful woman in the fall of 2019. I ended up dating her by March of 2020. It was a surreal experience for me, because I have a case of impostor syndrome. I enjoyed dating her even if our relationship did not work. She reinstated my belief in decent human being. She also happened to be a Libra. People who believe in Astrology often preach that I an Aries should date Libra. I pay no credence to that though. The one Libra I have maintained a lifelong friendship with is my college roommate who is ironically married to an Aries. However, I doubt he believes in Astrology and Horoscope.

Anyway October has not been my favourite month of the year, but such is life. As the month of October comes to an end, I am remembering the calendar is rapidly drawing to an end as well.

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