I’ll be thirty eight in a few months. It is a milestone for some people, but to other indifference is just the operative word. I would like to say I am happy with my life at this point, but I can not say. I can not say I am unhappy with my life either. Ten years ago, I had hope to be married with children at this point in my life, but it is not the case. Many voices in my life expressed their opinions. I dully listened to each and everyone of them, and I reached my conclusions as I normally do.
I consider myself a member of generation X. We are children of the baby boomers like some millennials. We are not as numerous as the baby boomers generation. Older members of our generations gave birth to some millennials. It is neither here nor there, and I am digressing. I started hearing calls to be married at twenty four. I smirked for the most part when people tried to nudge me in the following direction. When I did not smirk; I would give a generic response to the calls to get married. It is not to say I am against the institution of marriage. I would love to be married, and have children like many of my peers. However, it is not the case. I am in my late thirties. I have a string of failed relationships, and members of my extended family are trying to play matchmaker in my life.
I have been pondering whether or not some people are called to remain single. I have no idea whether some people are called to be single or not. Everyone wants companionship. A person’s sexual orientation does not affect the desire for companionship. Nobody wants be lonely, but many do not know how to live with people. It is not a sin or a crime to be single. As someone born into an African family; my elders have for many year pushed me to get married. They even tried to set me up with some available maiden they happen to know. They all had honorable intentions, but nothing came of their attempts. In the end they could not make something out of nothing. There may have been traces of attraction between me and these women, but nothing ended up happening. I started thinking again. Ten years ago, I was reading the Chicken Soup for the Soul series of book in my search for balance. I happen to read Chicken Soup for the Single Soul. This book actually prepared me for life as a single man. The stories in the book guided me into finding meaning in life. I started enjoying life despite the loneliness on occasions. I stopped seeing life as a constant competition, and I started seeing life as journey instead. The most important part is not the destination of the journey. The journey is the most part. Along the way, you meet some people on your journey. Anyway, I am digressing again. No one is called to be single, but circumstances and choices create more single people than years past.
I hope to get married one day, and I hope to find my calling as well. However, if I remain single I will continue to find meaning in my life. I will continue to believe in the institution of marriage. I hope to one day get married in a catholic church. If I am blessed with children I hope to guide them in my catholic faith. In the end, unless you chose to become a priest or a nun; no one is called to be single. Some people chose to formalize their union through ceremonies like weddings. Some people just live together, and never marry. However, they find companionship.